my absolute favorite

flaming lips song is "fight test", from their most recent release, "yoshimi battles the pink robots". i liked the album so much that i got the deluxe edition, which includes a bonus dvd which plays the album in 5.1 stereo surround-sound, and has some funky graphics as well.

the first time i heard it, i recognized that it sounded a lot like cat stevens' "father and son", which is what i'm listening to right now. someone told me that cat actually sued the flaming lips over the similarity; i have no idea what happened but i would guess the parties settled.

i'm no ip lawyer, so i have to wonder: what is it about a song that can be copyrighted? is it the lyrics, the melody...what? i can't imagine it's the latter, as the music is composed of "notes" that are public domain, although i could understand an argument for the copyright of the tune in its entirety (despite the fact that it would be difficult to prove no prior art, which has relevance to a patent, but possibly not to a copyright - i just don't know)

regardless, "fight test" is a stupendous achievement in songwriting, and ranks as one of my favorite ten songs, ever. a friend and i were discussing the lyrics the other day, and now i think it appropriate for me to expound further:

"I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlights begin
It's all a mystery"

this, life, whatever - it's all a mystery. we spend our whole lives trying to figure out what life is about, when we find out (some of us earlier than others, some of us: never) that it's just a mytery; life is meant to unravel this mystery which i suppose means that the point of life is to unravel itself. this may sound stupid, initially, but i think it's a rather elegant explanation for the fact that life is merely meant to be lived.

"For to lose I could accept
But to surrender I just wept
And regretted this moment"

this means a lot to me, because it gets at my very essence: as much as i hate losing, i can accept loss; it's the surrendering that i will never tolerate.

"...I'm a man, not a boy
And there are things you can't avoid
You have to face them
When you're not prepared to face them"

so much of life is about dealing with shit that you can't avoid and no matter how much you prepare, you'll never be ready for every little thing that life throws at you. but this is precisely what makes life enjoyable. all of the challenges, all of the pain: if i can adapt and persevere, these things will make be a better, stronger person. to what end, you may ask? i don't know. i just know that i will be happier on my deathbed knowing that i gave it all.

i have a habit of asking people: "what do you think is the point to life?" invariably, the answer is "to be happy." i don't think this is the point at all. the point to life, at least for me, is growth. every moment, i want to be growing, adapting, and improving physically, mentally, and spiritually. of course, this is not possible, except on a macro scale (months and years, not seconds and hours).

my point is that i want to be challenged. without struggle, without conflict, there is no growth, and there is no progress. this is what i mean when i say that "life is meant to be lived." living doesn't always mean being happy. if i wanted to be happy, i would just move to san diego, get a 9-to-5 job, and pig out on ice cream and chinese food every day. but this happiness would eventually lead to complacency, and to me, complacency is worse than death.

emily didn't get this, rachel didn't either, and this is why i'm single again, and may remain so for quite a long time.