lifetime utility

maybe the best way to think about stuff is in terms of what i'm going to call "lifetime utility"

according to wikipedia, utility is defined as a measure of the relative satisfaction from, or desirability of, consumption of various goods and services

the trick is to not think of utility in the present or near-present, but in terms of the lifetime - either yours or the product's (whichever ends sooner, haha)

before any purchase, i think through three questions

- how much utility am i get of this thing

- how much is it going to cost me now (in terms of $usd, usually)

- how much is it going to cost me later (in terms of hassle associated with worry, maintenance, etc.)

all three questions boil down to one fundamental question:

- do i really need this

obviously, if i'm buying a hot dog, the calculations are not that difficult. but when it comes to, for example, a house (which i'm thinking about buying), the calculations become much more complex. maybe we can make a deal: i promise to really think hard about buying an xbox 360, if you'll think really hard about buying that prada bag, or those pair of diesel jeans.

the joy of less

here's a great article about living simply

a lot of people i've met - whether local or tourist - are surprised when they find out that i've been traveling for a year with just my one backpack. usually, they say something like "wow, that must be really hard."

actually, it's the opposite: traveling has been made far easier by the fact that, for the time being, everything i own can fit into a 75 liter backpack. i never have to worry about what i'm going to wear, because there IS NO choice: i have one pair of jeans. and if i have to move on a moment's notice? no problem: just stuff everything into the pack and go. i've gotten to the point where i can go from bed to checked out of the hostel and on my way in less than ten minutes.

i don't know where people got the idea that stuff makes life better. study after study, example after example, we read and hear that not only does stuff not make us happy, it can actually make our lives worse. and yet there's this continuous push to acquire more, more, more.

i posted a great link a couple of weeks ago. according to this annie leonard, this need for stuff - at least with respect to america - started in the 1950s. and the cycle continues - no, is propagated by corporations - to this day.

recently, there's been a pullback. obviously, the economic crisis has taken the fire out of our consumerist ways; and yet i'm afraid that this is only temporary. as we climb out of this crisis, america will be back to its drive for more stuff. in fact, that's one of the things we're all counting on to get us out of this mess: people regaining confidence, and buying more stuff

i've resigned myself to the fact that this is human nature. after all, this is not an american problem, or a western problem; it's global.

in vietnam, one of the poorer countries in the world, i talked to a guy, a farmer i met out during a bike ride into the fields. i asked him what his dream was. his english wasn't very good, but i understood that what he wanted was education for his kids, and a tv.

more recently, in the places i've visited in brazil, there's an obsession (previously documented) with nike shox. i don't understand why, but everyone either is wearing them, or wants to wear them.

today, i watched american beauty. i love that scene where kevin spacey is trying to get it on with annette benning, but she ruins the moment by saying something about the couch. why does anyone need a $4,000 couch?

well, i don't know where i'm going with this. i guess the nytimes article and watching american beauty today brought this issue to the fore, and i've been thinking about it all day.

as much as i rant and rave about how we're so consumerist, etc., i'm guilty too. maybe not as guilty as most, but i'm guilty of wanting stuff. but i feel like i can justify my desire for stuff since i only care about stuff to the extent that it offers a better/unique experience. for example, i want a motorcycle. yeah, it'd be great to have a fancy ducati or triumph, but really, all i want is a bike that's not busted, and can do 100 mph. that's as fast as i think i'll ever need to go.

i guess you could argue that a $4,000 couch offers a better sitting/lounging experience than a $40 beater off of craigslist, but is it $3,960 better?

the big house

today i got a tour of the blumenau jail.  

i've never been in an active jail before so this was interesting for me.  my guide said that most of these guys were in for drugs.  peeking into one of the cells, it didn't surprise me that a lot of the guys looked young.   in this jail, they give special treatment to guys who have college degrees/educations vis-a-vis those without.  

i met a guy named julio who was quite nice.  my guide left me with him for a few minutes so julio could practice his english.  i asked julio if he'd ever been to the US because his english was quite good (relative to the locals) and he smiled "no, maybe someday."  i learned later that julio killed his ex-girlfriend by shooting her five times and was sentenced to life in prison.

after the jail, we went to the mall where i saw more nike shox and women in absurdly high heels

what a fabulous country

brazil is.  i can't remember the last time i had so much fun, and met so many cool people.  there are more beautiful countries certainly, but when it comes to the people, barbecue, women - brazil is where it's at.  

anywho, i'm now in blumenau.  previous to this, i was in balneario camboriu, a beach town about an hour outside of florianopolis.  floripa gets all of the press, but balneario is where it's at.  i couchsurfed with a brazilian college student, and she took me partying out every night with her friends.  honestly, i can't remember the last time i partied so hard, and had so much fun

well i'm not going to go on an on about how great this place is.  all i'm going to say is that argentina has nothing on brazil.

a couple of things i don't get about this place though.  the people are obsessed with nike shox.  people - guys and girls - wear them as fashion statements.  i mean they wear them out to clubs, bars, etc.  in the US, i don;t think you'd be caught dead in those things, unless you are at the gym or grocery store or something.  maybe it's because shox are expensive here, and owning a pair indicates that you have money.  well, it certainly doesn't mean you have any style in my book.

as well, the women have taken to wearing enormous heels.  and not just the heels - the toe part too.  i see women walking around with what are like bricks strapped to their shoes.  i know i've been traveling for a while, and i'm not in the loop (never have been, actually) about style.  maybe this is what women are wearing in the US too.  god i hope not

the meat here is incredible, and cheap.  the brazilians really take bbq seriously.  most houses i'm told have a dedicated bbq pit.  they're big into slow roasting.  well they're doing something right.  

food is pretty cheap here.  and rent, i hear.  but everything else is expensive eg shoes, clothes, electronics, cars.  apparently brazil taxes anything that's imported quite heavily.  for example, in the US you'd pay $10k usd for a shitmobile.  that same car in brazil would run you at least 50k reals, which is $25k usd

reflective

part of me wants to keep traveling, but a bigger is ready to settle down. a little part of me will always want to be on the road.

i've already made plans to go back to the sublet i was in before i left. i like the guys, and they have my car, tv, and all of my stuff. i'm actually excited to be back in the "dungeon" as i like to call it, since it's a bedroom in the basement, and it'll be nice to sleep in the same bed for more than three nights at a time. i gotta admit that i'm probably most excited about the shower situation ie consistent access to hot water. the guys want a 6 month commitment from me, which i think won't be a problem, but we'll see.

the first thing i'll have to focus on is getting a job. i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. after all, it’s my jobs that have made me miserable in the past, the last one catalyzing my desire to take a year off to travel. i did an analysis yesterday of my jobs since college:


so the results aren’t good. even my best job, doing venture at sterling, registered a composite of 3.3, which is barely better than “okay”. i want my next job to be at least a 4

i like organizing things into spreadsheets. i’m really good at it. after two years of banging out excel models 90 hours a week while at lehman, i should be. that said, in my next job, i do not want excel, powerpoint, word, or any other microsoft office application to constitute the majority of what i do. i want my next job to be about people, debate, negotiation, etc.

these are requirements for my next job:

no more than 50 hours a week, on average
some travel, but not a ton
something i could be interested in eg video games, not sql server
a team of people that i see and work with consistently, whom i respect and like
interesting day to day work ie not making slides or building models all day
ownership of something; tangible results (this is one of the things that drove me nuts about consulting)
director level, or equivalent
no less than $---k total comp

I hate to put that last one out there, because I’m really not about money. Jesus I don’t even spend it. By my calculations, in my seven years of full time work, I’ve saved more than 80% of my post-tax earnings. I invested all of it. Well not ALL, thank god. I used to be 30% in cash but because of the recession that’s more like 50% now. but I digress

It’s not that I don’t like spending money (well, okay, I don’t) I just don’t think that there’s much to spend it on. I don’t care about clothes or cars. I don’t care about gadgets, cell phones, or anything that most people like. I drive a Honda civic, don’t have an ipod or iphone, and wear old navy jeans until they are shredded. I waited until three years after the razr came out to get one, and this is only because it was the best phone to come with my cell phone plan. It’s still the phone I use. I will spend money on experiences eg travel, scuba diving, snowboarding, skydiving, etc. but really, that’s it. Of course, if I buy a house and motorcycle, my cash position will be much different

Money doesn’t interest me. It’s the fact that I’m good at making money that I’m interested in. money to me is a way of keeping score. By most counts, I’m winning. The more I have, the more I’m winning. But in terms of what money can do – buy stuff – well, I don’t really care much about that. of course I’ve kinda known this about myself since I started making money, but it’s only recently that I fully understood

So min $---K comp is important because it means that I’ll have to swallow a big pay cut if this is what I end up getting. I guess I’m okay with that. but really I feel like I should be compensated fairly. If someone with my background and abilities went on the market for $60K, I’d be fine with that. pay me 60. but the truth is that someone with my experiences and skills gets $---K min, so that’s what I want

If I go into the foreign service, I’ll have to take a massive pay cut because I think people start out there tops at like $70K. but they pay for your housing so most of that is disposable income. And I’d hopefully be in a cool place like berlin or Amsterdam.

I have a friend who says that she has a job for me that pays $200K for forty hours a week, and no more. More hours than this means more pay. I don’t know if this is true or not but even if it means I gotta make slides all day, I could probably do it for a while

after i secure a job, i think i’m going to get this stuff:

a house: i have no idea what i want or am willing to pay. Maybe in the $300K range? I don’t even know what that buys. just know that the housing market is close to a bottom, and according to my friend who just bought in wallingford, there are a lot of good deals around. the obama administration apparently is going to offer an even bigger tax break for first time home buyers. and the seattle market is and will continue to be one of the best markets for the foreseeable future. unless microsoft, amazon, costco, boeing, starbucks, weyerhauser, etc. decide to pick up and leave. so i have to at least think about it. but it’s a big investment. i’ll probably just start with a small 2 bedroom. who knows

a dog: i’ve been thinking a lot about this actually. while i am a big dog guy, i’ve actually warmed to the idea of getting a small dog. like a poodle mix. i just don’t think it would be fair to have a big dog cooped up in an apartment or small house all day. big dogs belong in big yards, i think. i’ll end up just getting whatever’s at the shelter that day anyways. Someday I want a big ol lab

a bike: i’d love to get a ducati or triumph or something classy, but seeing as it will be my first bike, i’ll start with a used, reliable honda or something along those lines. i can’t wait to start riding again though

if i do get all three of these things, my traveling days will officially be over. i don’t mean that i’ll stop taking short trips, and by short i mean a week or less, but it does mean that taking another year off to travel around the world will be an impossibility. but i think i’ll be okay with that. we’ll see. it also means that the foreign service is out. Maybe I should wait to see where it goes before I buy a house

other stuff i’ve promised for myself, when i get back

salsa dancing twice a week
karaoke once a week
cook at least three times a week
gym at least four times a week
snowboarding at least once a week during the season
fishing at least once a month

balneario

I am in balneario, a small city an hour out of Florianopolis. I really like it here, but the weather hasn’t been cooperating. I’ve been staying with a 20 year old brazilian girl, and it’s been enlightening. We’ve been going out every night, and it’s been a lot of fun hanging out with her and her friends. But it’s kind of funny when I think about how different I was when I was their age: I went out maybe twice a week, and spent most of my time studying. These girls are in school, but it’s almost like an afterthought to them. I’ve never seen them do any work, and they go out and drink 3-4 times a week. But I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth

ramble

i've been frustrated for the past couple of days. with a month left on my round the world trip, i feel like time is slipping away. i feel like i should be out there seeing magnificent, wonderful things that i can't see anywhere else, but for the past couple of days i've just been walking to the beach, hanging out, etc. part of the problem is that, in this part of brazil, there's nothing to see that's mindblowing eg no angkor wat, magnificent mountains.

i've been having a tough time living in the present, mostly because i'm preparing for the future. i've already started reaching out to contacts, and looking for jobs. i've even applied to a few. i'm a bit concerned that companies may actually be trying to get back to me, but can't because the number listed in my resume is turned off. oh well.

my rationale is that if i start lining stuff up now, i'll be ready to hit the ground running when i'm back in seattle. but the truth is that i have a month left on my epic journey, and that i should be enjoying it to the fullest extent possible.

i was going over some interview prep stuff yesterday, and happened upon the question "what do you consider your proudest accomplishment?" this made me think, and realize that this past year will be my proudest accomplishment. and why not?

taking a year off to travel around the world is not easy, and not a lot of people do it. for the past year, i've lived out of a backpack that weighs no more than 40 pounds. every two or three days i'm sleeping in a different bed. i could go on and on about the things i've seen, people i've met, etc.

so maybe my year off won't be my greatest accomplishment, but certainly it will be my proudest.

let's try this again

i'm going to give this another shot.

it's been quite a while.  

during my round the world trip, i got into the habit of posting notes and pictures to facebook.  while it's very easy, i didn't feel and still don't feel like it's mine.  more like facebook is the rest of the world's, and my nonsense just adds to the clutter

so i'm going to start posting here again.  and the people who really care about what i have to say will have to leave facebook for a little bit.  so that basically means no one will read my blog.  but i'm cool with that.

back on the wagon

i fell off for a bit. now it's on. yeah, baby, it's SO on.

interesting article about

the problem msft is having with users who stick to older versions of windows. it appears that a bigger problem than the open-source/linux threat is that users just stick with stuff that still works. after all, if it ain't broken, don't fix it, right?

most people know that the fortunes of msft (at least financially) are tied to pc-upgrade cycles. as computers have become faster, cheaper, and more feature-rich, there is just less urgency to replace them. while client and information worker will continue to be the cash generators in the company, msft is smart to be looking at other sources of revenue.

that said, here's an article from msft watch that talks about how xp might wear the install-crown by the end of the year.

msft is censoring

chinese blogs. this should be no surprise as google has availed itself of the same concession: this is just a necessary evil to do business in china. while i don't like the idea of censoring words like "democracy", "freedom", and "human rights", i understand why it's being done.

so aol is

going to give out free content. this sounds like a case of "too little, too late" but aol does still have a massive subscriber base, and if it can create compelling, proprietary content, its strategy might work.

first post from

seattle. vic and i got in on sunday afternoon after 3.5 days of uneventful driving, except for my blown tire in nd and vic's $230 ticket (he was doing 83 in a 65 mph zone) in the same state. we stopped in eau claire, wi, bismarck, nd, and missoula, mt. i had to spend $150 to get two new tires in bismarck, but i probably would have needed to do this anyways sooner rather than later. i thought i caught a nail or something, but the mechanic said that it looked like my tire was just plain worn-out.

it was an interesting sensation when my tire blew out: i was flying along at 80 mph when i heard a loud pop and then the proverbial thud-thud-thud of a blown tire. so i had to pull off on the side of the road and put on the spare. i was 90 miles from bismarck, and since i couldn't go over 45 mph on the spare, it took me two hours to get into bismarck. the whole shebang probably set me back about three hours in total.

what surprised me about the trip was the beauty of montana and western north dakota. the gorges, ravines, sheer cliffs, big skies...amazing. montana is truly god's country.

i couldn't help but notice how white middle america is. i constantly got stares in these small towns: not out of animosity, but out of curiosity, i think. people out there just don't see a lot of chinese people, and i stuck out like a sore thumb. several girls were digging me at the bar we went to in bismarck, nd, however: i like to think that it's because of my good looks (haha) but i think a lot of it had to do with my relative exoticism.

middle america: the red states: agrarian communities are dying. so many of the people i saw were in their 60s and 70s: i think that it's much easier for the the young ones, with the advent of the internet and cable television, to find out that there's very little opportunity (and going-on) in these small towns these days, and get the hell out as soon as they can.

our apartment is pretty sweet. we're on the 21st floor and have a decent view. the nicest thing is that we have our own smoking balcony, which is also perfect for a keg. vic got the master bedroom, but we each get our own bathrooms. my only complaints would be that the furniture is kind of cheap, and that i got shafted on the lighting. i only got one lamp in my bedroom, and it's a 40 watt bulb, if that. i called northwest suites to request another lamp (since vic got 2) but they want to charge me $30 for the delivery of a lamp - for that amount, i could buy my own lamp! well, i suppose i'll have to live with poor lighting in my bedroom for the summer.

seattle is really cold. i should have packed more cold-weather clothing. i expect, however, that it'll get warmer in july and august. on the tour of seattle i went on today, the guide said that seattle averages 75 degrees in the summer, and 45 in the winter. apparently, seattle gets two months of gorgeous days, three months of cloudy days, and seven months of dreary. in the summer, it doesn't get dark until 9:30 pm (we're quickly approaching summer solstice) but gets dark at 3:30 pm in the winter. the guide said this explains why seattle-ites do a lot of stuff indoors, even though it's known as being a very outdoorsy city.

today was my first day - orientation. most of it was spent filling out forms and whatnot, and getting the standard spiel the company gives to all incoming employees. the mba interns separated from the undergrads at lunchtime - i was surprised to learn that the company will hire approximately 950 interns this year, 50 of whom are pursuing mbas.

at lunch, we introduced ourselves, and got a chance to hear from some former mba interns and now full-time employees. the key points i pulled from the luncheon:

1. nail the job/get the offer - basically, set a precedent/expectations and work hard

2. don't just work - get involved with social activities, both with the mba intern community and with the company at-large. apparently, the exec luncheons are really valuable opportunities and i should try not to miss them.

3. network, network, network not only with mba interns, but also with other people in the organization. i have somewhat of a goal to contact at least one person every day, but i doubt that meeting 90 people in my three months here will be possible. i'll be happy if i get 1/3 of this.

tomorrow, i meet with my mentor, who i'm pretty happy with. as well, the mba interns are going to the mariner game (playing the phillies) so that should be a good opportunity to meet the other 40 or so interns i haven't met yet.